He sucks. (alternate title: Happy Birthday honey!)

He really does.  Cancer is just a big pain in the corn dog receptacle.  I mean, look what it’s done to try to take over our Patty’s life.  How many trips to Moffitt (Cancer Center Resort and Spa)?  How many rounds of chemo?  A feeding tube.  Pain.

Early in the week I did one of my “drive-by” stops at Patty’s.  I pop in for a “RUB” which is a little massage of her shoulder and arms and legs.  That darn shoulder is where one of the tumors presses so hard on a nerve that she can’t move the dang arm AT ALL.  Are you kidding me?  Cancer sucks. We rub the heck out of that arm to warm it and bring some relief.  Another tumor has pushed so hard on the esophagus that Patty can’t swallow.  Not a morsel.  Not a sip.  Are you kidding me?  Cancer sucks.

My kids got me a ROOMBA as a birthday gift this week.    Mine is named FABIO as he had to be a MALE slave, obviously, and quite frankly, he looks great without a shirt.  My friend Jackie won the naming contest.  (Dunkin Donut gift card is on its way, JG! xoxo).  Fabio struts around the room conquering hairballs right and left.  More on Fabio in future posts, obviously.  He plays a significant role in my life.  Hands off, ladies!

Yesterday I got to spend time with Vanderbilt William Robison IV aka Patty’s grandson at Patty’s house.  He is still “Minivan” to the Sixtahs; let’s call him “MV”, not to be confused with Patty (“PV”).  This “Minivan” name we use for him started when he was just human-adjacent, still in utero.  His dad is Van, and he was a chip off the old car block at that time.


His two grandmothers, Patty and Carla, tended to his every need and share love of his every move and sound and coo.  Patty whipped out her phone, and we did an impromptu karaoke party with him.  Mick, Patty’s dog, looked on from his dog bed.  I’m in the market for socks like MV’s.

Today is Patty’s birthday.  Fifty seven. Here she is SEVEN years post-pancreatic cancer diagnosis.  in the years since her diagnosis: Two marriages of her children and one high school graduation; birth of first grand kid (MV), myriad Christmases and birthdays!  It was my birthday this week too as I shamelessly mentioned already, and Patty celebrated ME

And now I sit in a hotel lobby (I’m with family in NYC) celebrating YOU, PV, my inspiring friend..typing away and smiling and yes, tearing up a bit.  You have that effect on me.  More so on Jean, as we know.  (She is LITERALLY “The Town Crier! Lol)  Mom (Patti T) sends her love from the Keys.  You’ll see the rest of the gang in person today…


(subtle inclusion of a pic of my amazing dog, Oakley)

Back to the roomba, my new bestie.  As I left Patty’s I saw that she has her very own Roomba.  I gave that guy a thumbs up as I left.  He sucks.  Cancer sucks.  And Patty…with each new day…goes on to conquer those hairball cancer cells again and again.  DO IT GIRL.  We all love you so very much.  If we could do it FOR you, we would.  If we could RUB it all away, we would.  Happy Birthday.

“Today is a good day” as you say almost every single damn time I see you.  Today is a good day.


Blog Notes:

Some birthday messages from the gals:

TRUDI:  Yo Dog!  Hope you have an awesome birthday!  Wishing you a great year ahead and many more to come.  So grateful for our friendship; you mean the world to me.  Love you!!!!

PATTI:  Happy 57th birthday, my fav friend ❤ Hear’s hoping and praying 57 is your best year yet! This is a lyric of Michael Franti that I believe you live by.  Keep it going, my friend…

    “Hey, hey, hey.  No matter how life is today.

There’s just one thing I got to say…

I won’t let another moment slip away…”

and you wont.    Happy Birthday, my friend.  I love you <3<3<3


JANEY:  Happy Birthday Patty V!  Aka Chief, Miracle, The Kid—

There’s no one I love to wish a Happy Birthday to more than you.  We have had a lifetime of fun and laughter, and I am so excited that we can continue doing that.  Let’s plan for tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow after that.  And everyone we know can come along too.  It’ll be so much fun.  I love you and can’t wait to see what’s next!


Patty, you make it so easy to drop the F words when I say Happy birthday to my favorite fun, fabulous, fantastically funny fart-afficionado, forever friend.  I’m so happy to celebrate this birthday with you, and I love you like a fat girl loves cake.  ❤


(And… the real reason I offered to blog the shenanigans of the Sixtahs….so I can get the last word!!!!) . Here is the pic of our Patty and me taken this week.  She celebrated our Trudi’s birthday too (pic? don’t have one, darn it).  Your gifts to us are so bountiful my lovely friend.  And we are greedy and in love.  Don’t be stingy.  Let’s plan another trip my darling precious.  I’m your favorite.  You owe me.



Blog Note addendum:  “Fart-afficionado” is spelled incorrectly and my spell checker refuses to acknowledge that that IS an actual word and will not provide the correct spelling.  I have chosen the hyphenated version of the spelling in an attempt to use a slightly more formal and stylistic spelling approach and apologize to the purists and grammarians.  As you know, I’m one of you.  This one posed a problem.  But as you also may know from previous trips (and posts).  It IS a word.  Thank you.  Glad we were able to cover that.


Blog Note addendum to addendum:

Reach out to Patty today with a text or a call or a post or a comment on FB.  And do it tomorrow too.  You’ll never be her favorite, but she’ll like it.  🙂





2 Comments Add yours

  1. Mama Betty says:

    OMG, Julie, that was sooo perfect. Thank you and all the “Sixtahs” for the tribute to our darling Patty. As Mom, I want to see nothing more than that beautiful smiling face as long as I’m here.
    She’s a special lady💕😘


  2. Love you Mama B! Like a fat girl loves cake! 🙂


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